


Bunnies

by alecmagnuslwb



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, but like in the literal sense, john constantine has one brain cell and it's used for loving zatanna, mentions of papa midnite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25824235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecmagnuslwb/pseuds/alecmagnuslwb
Summary: Zatanna comes home to find an extra rabbit she’s never seen before crawling out of her top hat.
Relationships: John Constantine/Zatanna Zatara
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Bunnies

**Author's Note:**

> Writer’s month day 10, prompt: Bunnies. 
> 
> Largely inspired by my obsession with DC Bombshells.

Zatanna steps through a portal directly into the kitchen. She’s starving after a night of Justice League meetings that she frankly had nothing to do with. Just because she’s a member doesn’t mean she cares if Booster Gold is misusing tech, it’s not like she’s the one paying for it.

Her top hat sits on the counter where she left it, a few of the bunnies that call the pocket dimension inside home leaping out upon her arrival. Two white rabbits settle on a book sitting on the counter that Zatanna assumes John must have left out, a little golden-brown rabbit she doesn’t remember seeing before sits beside them scratching at the pages.

Zatanna sighs shooing the rabbits off the book and closing it to prevent them from eating a vital page or accidentally enacting a curse. She pushes the book off to the side scratching each rabbit on the head fondly. Destructive little bastards they may be from time to time, but she loves the fluffy little guys. 

She walks over to the fridge the golden-brown bunny who must be new hopping along beside her as far as it can go without slipping off the counter.

She leans in looking at her fairly scarce fridge, reminding herself to tell John that cigarettes and whiskey don’t qualify as groceries. She sighs grabbing the container of leftover Thai takeout from the bottom shelf and settling on it for her dinner. She sits it on the counter turning to grab a fork, because she’s too tired for chopsticks right now, when the golden-brown bunny knocks it over with his nose.

She turns and frowns at the precious Thai food spilling all over the counter each piece of rice getting tangled up in bunny hair.

“No, don’t do that,” she whines picking the container up and pointing the fork at the bunny. There’s very little left to salvage and definitely not enough to constitute a meal.

“Nealc siht pu,” she says waving her hand at the mess, sadly watching her food disappear.

The bunny just wiggles its nose at her hopping over to the plant sitting on the edge of the counter pushing at it. Zatanna sighs abandoning her quest for food in favor of stopping this destructive bunny and putting it back in the hat where it belongs before it wrecks her kitchen.

She walks over to it about to pick it up as it turns, about to nibble at her vase of lavender and lilac when she spots the pack of cigarettes lying beside it. She watches for a moment as the bunny pushes the vase away just a little and starts nibbling at the pack, not the plant as expected.

That’s when she realizes the unrecognizable bunny actually seems so familiar, from its behavior to its sandy color. It isn’t trying to eat her plants it’s trying to open John’s pack of cigarettes. Her eyes fall to the book she moved earlier the title in Latin she translates quickly. Transfiguration and the art of familiars.

_Oh, shit._

She gets closer to the bunny that has now successfully pulled a cigarette from the pack, looking it in the eyes.

“John?” she whispers and the bunny perks up its head wiggling its nose in her direction. Zatanna goes wide eyed picking the bunny up and holding eye contact with it, John’s blue eyes staring right back at her. She can’t believe her boyfriend turned himself into a fucking bunny.

She’d love to know the why here, but seeing as his only forms of communication are currently wiggling his nose and trying to smoke she doesn’t suspect she’ll be getting any answers from bunny Constantine.

She looks at her fridge longingly before tucking John the bunny under her arm. She picks up the other lingering bunnies and places them back in her hat, for a second she considers dropping John in there as well if for no other reason to teach him some kind of lesson for as long as it takes her to scrounge up some sort of dinner.

Ultimately though she decides it’s best to turn him back as quickly as possible, even though it would be fun to drop him in a pocket dimension for a while.

“I can’t believe you turned yourself into a rabbit and you still want to smoke,” she says sitting him back down on the counter far from the pack of smokes. She pulls the book back over sitting heavily into the stool nearest to her and begins flipping through the pages searching to find the page it’d been left open on assuming that’s the culprit responsible for this situation.

Bunny John just wiggles his nose poking her in the hand with the cigarette still clenched between his teeth.

“I’m not lighting that for you,” she scowls as she flips through the book scanning every page. “Who knows what one cigarette could do to a rabbit’s body.”

He looks so extremely put upon, a look that on a bunny looks absolutely adorable and hilarious. Zatanna can’t help but giggle at him as he drops the cigarette from his mouth. She’s certain if he could cross his arms in frustration right now he would.

“Yeah, well you’re not the only one frustrated at the moment,” she says poking him in the side.

Eventually John hops over putting his two tiny paws, that now that she’s paying closer attention she sees are painted black just like his nails would be, on a page stopping her flipping.

She scans the page reading the details of what exactly John did that lead to this.

“So you really thought this was a good idea, all over some poker game, huh?” she says after reading the page. He’s been obsessing over another magic user who has a familiar that happens to be a rabbit. According to John the man owes him 50 quid from a poker game eight years ago and because he can’t just let it go he’d joked about turning into his familiar and sneaking in to get the money himself. John has lost and won back the entire House of Mystery in a poker game and let it go, but this he chooses to fixate on. “Practicing for later, but forgot you had to turn back somehow still?”

John wiggles his nose. She takes it as a yes. Why she had to fall for someone so smart, yet so pettily dumb she has no idea.

Zatanna rolls her eyes running her finger along the page to figure out what she needs to do to turn him back into a person. Off to the side in print so small she almost needs a magnifying glass to read it a list of ingredients for a potion to reverse the effects is listed.

Potion making isn’t her preferred form of magic, why bother when she has so much access and power at her fingertips, but she trudges from the kitchen to the room her father kept for the occasional potion work with John and the book cradled in her arms.

It takes almost two hours to make, John hopping all over the place while she works. She really wishes he’d thought of this and done it before embarking on an at home by himself practice run. She once again considers banishing him into her hat simply for a little peace and quiet. Hell, she might do that to human John once she gets him back.

Finally stirred and the proper color Zatanna pours a vials worth of the potion into a bowl and sits it in front of bunny John.

“Drink up dumbass,” she says pushing the bowl directly under his nose.

John dips his head down slurping up the liquid as quickly as a bunny can. Once it’s gone she watches him expectantly a ring of glowing green circles around him his bunny form slowly but surely being replaced with his human form.

Between one blink and the next a golden-brown rabbit no longer sits in front of her instead it’s John immediately slipping off the edge of the table he’d been resting on and landing on the floor.

“Ouch,” he says as he lands. He reaches into his pocket pulling out a cigarette and lighting it for himself now that he once again has opposable thumbs. “Thanks for that luv.”

Zatanna scoffs shutting the potion book in front of her and banishing the remaining mixture into tiny bottles just in case he tries this again.

“I think if I tweak it a bit I can make myself look exactly like that little black and white bloody familiar of his,” he says as he lifts himself up from the ground. Zatanna rolls her eyes so hard she’s certain they’re about to fall out of her head.

“Nope, I don’t want to hear it, I will not take part in your petty vendetta over a poker game. You turn yourself into a bunny again there’s plenty of potion to fix yourself next time,” she says gesturing to the line of bottles now on a shelf that’s just high enough he’ll have to work for them if he’s a bunny. She storms out of the room yelling her next words as she goes. “You’ll be needing that 50 quid soon enough because that’s how much I’m about to steal from your wallet so I can order dinner which I was deprived of thanks to you.”

“Oh come on Zee, it’s a matter of principle,” he shouts after her. “He’s trying to pull a fast one on me, conning me out of what’s mine.”

“Ha! Says the conman,” she shouts back.

She waves a hand as she enters the kitchen a quick incantation shutting the door and sealing it before John can follow her in as she contemplates just how she might go about shoving him in her hat for a while.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [alecmagnuslwb](https://alecmagnuslwb.tumblr.com/)


End file.
